The Cone of Shame.

My hoo-mom got lucky yesterday. I am what she calls "accident prone." I like to think of it as adventurer of the great beyond. I live my life like the last biscuit will be gone tomorrow. Well, yesterday I was running after Nubby at full speed. It was a wee bit slippery and I slid into the fence. I may or may not have scratched my face on the fence causing it to bleed all over mom's white shoes and jeans. Hoo-mom cleaned my face with the "ouchie box" she has for me in the cabinet. This box holds all the stuff that fixes me when I get hurt- no one else has an "ouchie box" all of their own in this house so I guess you could say I am kind of a big deal.. well mom put stuff on my face that sticks and is like jelly, but it's not sweet. So I had to use my paw to wipe it off. Hoo-mom put more on. I took it off. We played this game a few times then it happened- boom.. Cone. Of. Shame. UGHH!

Now, I have worn my fair share of cone-of-shames. I am the proud owner of 5 different sizes of cones- ranging from puppy to adult. I even have one size up because I was so stealthy and got out of my size- you know you are impressed! My hoo-mom has done some weird things like putting silly colored stickers on them for some reason. Then, she tells me I'm "soo cute" but if I was that cute why did I still have to wear the cone of shame?? There are holes in her story...let's put a pin in that one until later.

My run ins with the cone of shame accessory all started when I was a lil pup. My first cone of shame was back in 2017. It was cold and raining snow... so naturally mom made us play inside which is boring, especially for a little guy like me. So, to liven up the house I was kicking around a ball under the baseboard heating. Yada yada yada.. blood everywhere...8 stitches on my foot at the emergency vet (they love me and are nice btw)... more importantly cone of shame!

Let me tell you what it's like to wear a cone of shame human people. Maybe then you wont make me and other doggos wear them. Imagine this... you are trying to lick your paw to clean it. You are relaxing on the couch minding your own business..kicking back with a good bone... then all of a sudden you cant reach your food or water because your nose is too short. You cant scratch your butt because the cone makes you flip over. You cant go through doorways because you forget you are wider than normal so you run into the wall. And the worst part is everyone is always sneaking up on you. You can't see anything on your sides. Basically imagine living with your head in a box. I dont like it.

The only fun thing about a cone of shame is when you play with your fur sister you can run into her and knock her over with your cone.. and mom throws balls in the cone and they get stuck which is fun... and leaves and stuff from outside gets caught in there and it's fun to try to catch it... and you get to see the nice treat people where they poke you more. So I guess maybe it's not so bad....

Here's my advice. Live your life like your last biscuit will be gone tomorrow.. if you end up in a cone of shame at least you had fun right?